Sorry for not posting in a while, my infrequent posts have become so infrequent, but I want to try and get myself to write more.
My life’s been a bit hazy lately, completely distraught.. there’s been a lot going on I’ll just say.
I think I can finally say that chapter on ‘stupid guy’ is over. He recently told me he’s in love with the girl he’s currently seeing, and that was incredibly hard to hear for some reason. I really loved him despite how bad he was for me.. but I think I am starting to move on & get on with my life. During the process of moving on, I started talking to a counsellor.. found out I might be getting into depression, she recommended starting a journal. So I thought, maybe I’ll use my blog.. I haven’t used it in a while, and here I am.
What I’ve tried to do, is make some goals:
– Loose weight & get fit
– Finish Uni and move out of home
– Once uni is done, get a job in another city & start fresh
– Find a new man
– Be happy
These are the goals I’ve come up with, it’s just hard because most of these goals revolve around finishing uni.. well more or less all of them do. Problem is, uni is another 3.5 years – 4 years away from being completed.. and I’m at home still, and there’s so much family drama going on, it’s just making my life really hard to focus on myself right now, and making sure that I’m okay, and I’m happy.. if that makes sense.
It’s more or less my sister, she has a lot going on as well, and look- I’ll be honest I understand that, and I’m there for her. But, sometimes she takes things out on me and says some really hurtful things, which are hard to not take to heart. Sometimes, it feels like she doesn’t take into consideration that other people have things going on in their lives as well… (I’ve tried talking to her about it.. doesn’t end well) Sibling rivalry is the worst.
So I keep trying to remind myself just 3.5 years. I’m counting down the days until I can be happy and have some freedom in my life again. It’s really hard to wake up in the morning, when you’re this unhappy with life. But, one day at a time, right?
Thanks for reading guys, thought I’d try and keep it short & sweet this time. Talk soon hopefully! x
ambiguousdream 